I find myself laying in bed not able to sleep but only able to think of one thing…my grandfather (my really dad). it breaks my heart that he is not around. it breaks my heart that he never got to see one of his “morenitas” go off to college. it breaks my heart that he is no longer here to tell me in with his heavy spanish accent and rusty english “No worries morenita I am jour Superman”.
So I kinda just need to vent about this. I go back home soon and one of the big things on my mind is how in the world am I going to face my old bf.
Once upon a time we were inseparable, but now things are just….bad. The last time we REALLY talked, she basically told me to eff off. Breaking up with a best friend is harder to do then breaking up with a boyfriend. I hate to say this but it all started when she let her parents BLAME ME for her actions. They forbade her to talk to me, for me to go over to their house, etc. What hurts the most was that while I defend her and STILL try to defend her, I know she never did the same for me. I defied my family when they told me to cut her out of my life because she was not a true friend. I mean how could I, she was my best friend, we shared everything, we shopped in each others closet; when something was to scary to deal with we were there for each other. When she had too much to deal with I would help her out. When we said goodbye as I left for college (crying like no other), I thought we had agreed to leave everything behind, just move forward. I quickly realized that was not the case. I swear it’s like her parents believed my cousin and I were spawns of the Devil. (and just for the record ive been blamed for more things then just her going home drunk by her and her family) We’ve managed to go from best friends to friends to acquaintances. Ive been pushed aside, crying, and blamed for things way to much now. All Im saying is im simply exhausted.
